Sunday, November 9, 2008

RichWriters Inspiration: Writers Bad Choices

Everybody has to make choices in their life that they wish they had it in the past. I think back to things that I did when I was a teenager or when I was in my early or even mid 20s. Choices I made that I would never make again but in that moment, I felt like the right thing.


                        You cannot continue to feel bad about things that you have done in the past. There is no reason for that. There is absolutely no reason to beat yourself up about some choices you made and maybe in the past you hurt somebody deeply and you have apologized to them but for whatever reason, they want nothing to do with you. For whatever reason, they have not forgiven you or in that way, they have moved on. But let me tell you something, there is no good that will come out of feeling miserable.


                        There is no reason to continue to beat yourself up about feeling bad about something that you have done. It is not going to help the situation and certainly is not going to lift things up because sometimes people do that to punish themselves, to really justify what they did. They feel like, "Ok. Well, the choice I made was a really, really bad choice so if I think about it, I dwell about it enough, then maybe then it will go away."


                        But that is not what happens obviously. You have to let go. You have to forgive yourself for what you did because what you did ten years from now is not going to matter. How you reason now is not going to matter. When you body has deceased and gone, it is not going to matter and it should not matter today. You have made your choice. You made your mistake. You apologized. You rectified. You apologized and forgave yourself and that is all that you need to do.


                        You cannot continue to beat yourself up because it is not going to help anything at all, not at all. We have all made choices that we would not make again. We have all hurt people in the past, I certainly have. It is not intentionally by any means, but I have an accident where I choose to do at that time and I know that I would not make those choices again. Now, if someone does not want to forgive you that is their problem. But the whole reason why you want them to forgive you is that you feel good, right?


                        So why not feel good now? Why give them the power to decide whether or not you are going to feel good? You cannot do…well I was taught by one of the great teachers of the secret, you cannot put your own life on hold. You cannot say, "Okay, I'm going to be happy. I'm going to forgive myself when this person has forgiven me. I'm going to feel really great about myself when I buy this house. I am going to feel really great as soon as I leave this damn job." No. Do not put your whole happiness on hold. Feel happy now. That is what important.


                        Do not allow this person or these people to take your power. Do not hand over your power to them and allow them to decide whether or not you are going to be happy just because they choose or choose not to forgive you.


You have a choice. You have the power to choose to feel good or to feel bad. It is your choice.