Sunday, November 9, 2008

RichWriters Inspiration: Writers' Bad Relationships

Have you ever spent a really long time in a bad relationship? I know that I have and you know what, you ask yourself years later, "What in the world was I thinking?" And you know during that time you would not leave that person because you felt sorry for them. I know, I certainly did. And you wonder why did you put up with that. Again, it goes back to this, what are you showing the universe?


                        You say to the universe, "I can't stand this person. She is driving me crazy. He's driving me crazy. I don't like it. I don't like the way they treat me." But you know what? Yes, you do. You do like the way they treat you. You do like the way that they have treated you that always, all the time and you know why I know that, because if you really want something different, you would have moved on. No, you are showing the universe that you do like it. Remember we turn ourselves on mute.


                        What we say does not mean anything to the universe, what we do does, how we feel does. So you are showing the universe that, "Yes, I want more of that. Yes, I love this. I love being treated like this because I'm staying with this person just because I choose to feel sorry for them."


                        No, you are more important. At the end of the day, your happiness is what matters because the whole reason why you want that person to behave is that you feel happy because when they behave, it is finally you can go, "Whew! Finally I'm relieved. Finally, I feel good." Now, that is the reason why you want to behave so that you feel happy. So when you say to the universe, "I want a better life," but you act differently, the universe only responds to the way that you are acting.


                        So if you are in a bad relationship, you need to ask yourself, "Do I deserve to be better? Because if my actions are showing me and my column here that I want to be treated badly, that I deserve to be talked to that way, that I deserve to have somebody who is out there partying at night when he should be or she should be spending time with me, if you show the universe that, the universe says, "Okay, sure, you want more? You got it." But when you show on the other column, in column number two where you should be doing and you are showing the universe that, "No, I will not put up with this. This is not acceptable, I don't care how much of a guilt trip they give me, I don't care if they yell and scream, I don't care whatever threats they make. It doesn't matter.


                        My happiness is important. My happiness is just as important as their happiness. And you show the universe, "Look, I will not put up with this anymore. Not in my words, not in my so many little words but through my actions." And I say, "You know what? Some people will get into a situation where they will say all these certain things, "I'm not putting up with this anymore…blah blah blah," but their actions are different and you are teaching your partner up, she is just going to continue going on and on and telling you all these things but she will cool off and/or give her a guilt trip and then she will come running back because she always does. That is what you are showing the universe.


                        You have to look at yourself and say to yourself; look in the mirror and say, "I deserve the best. I deserve the best in this world and I'm going to show you, universe, I'm going to show you I deserve the best because I'm getting out of the situation and if it means me living on a couch on a friend's house for two months in order to get enough money together to do what I need to do, if it means me being in a homeless shelter, I'd rather be in a homeless shelter and treat myself right than be in a 400 room mansion and treated like crap. I'd rather do that because I deserve self-respect and I want to feel good about myself and I'm not allowing this person to take my power because I'm not giving it to him."


                        And let me tell you something. If you feel pressure and someone is trying to pressure you into doing something that means they do not have any power. That means you have the power because you have what they want. They want you to do what they want and if you do not do what they want, they have actually no power. All that can pressure you, that can hit you, that can scrimmage you, that can do all of different things, but that is because you have what they want. You have to think that means you have the power. You have the choice to either give them what they want or if they do not that means you hold the purse. Keep that in mind.


                        If you want to be in a bad relationship, continue doing so. What you show the universe is only going to give you more so you need to take control of your life. You need to take a look at your life and say to myself, "Do I want this bad relationship? Because if I don't I need to start showing the universe that I don't. I need to start making preparations. I needed not to sabotage myself. I need to get out of the situation. I need to set the ground rules. I need to say to myself, listen to me, self listen to me, I deserve the best and you know what partner? You know what lover? You know what boyfriend or girlfriend or wife, you know what, husband; let me tell you something, this is not acceptable. I am showing you through my actions it is not acceptable. You don't like it? Too bad and I will not, through my actions, allow myself to feel guilty for moving on in my life," because you know what? They are grown person. That is a grown ass man. That is a grown ass woman and she can take care of herself and he can take care of himself and they do not need me. I need me and it is more important for me to feel good about myself and feel happy to spend years and years in my life feeling miserable just to make sure that person feels happy.


                        You deserve the best. Show that to the universe and the universe will show that to you.